It's My Party, and I'll Cry if I Want To


Life's opposing forces--the good mixed with the bad. How is it possible that the two co-exist with each other? And seemingly so often? Truth be told, I cried at my own birthday party when I was younger!


For starters, the world isn't black and white. There are multiple shades of grey that we flow and float into it. Secondly, the unique way we perceive the world is not necessarily the same as others' perceptions. What feels like a good thing to us might be a not-so-good thing for someone else. It's the same thing--it's our interpretation that's different.


This concept of two opposing forces reminds me of what I am always referring to when I teach yoga and qi gong. Yin energy, from the earth, female energy, receiving energy, moon energy is balanced with the yang energy from the sun, masculine energy, doing energy. When the two are balanced at sunrise and sunset, they create the most beautiful sky. And, so it is with us. We are like nature. Just like the days balance with the nights, we balance how much we give (do) and how much we receive (relax).


So if it's my party--why I am crying? I think of this image when it comes to cultivating a healthy mindset--how can I be grateful for what I have while others have so little or are enduring so much? And, how can I be grateful for myself when I have so little and others have so much? It's the same question, and the answer is the same.


No matter what is happening--you can look at what is directly in front of you at any point in time and find joy, peace, appreciation or simply nonjudgment in it. I am healthy. My fridge is stocked. My family is safe and well. I have my job, my routine, my purpose. AND--there is horrific human loss going on elsewhere simultaneously. Does this matter? Yes! We don't have to have a front row to misery and heartbreak to feel it. But that doesn't diminish what we do have. That's the whole point of practicing a gratitude attitude.


Being grateful for what you have (no matter what) is part of shifting your mindset and retraining your brain to go to the positive. We have to work at this because the brain is protective and designed for survival. That means it is always scanning the environment looking for potential threats and making connections to protect itself and to be ready to activate survival mode. That's a stress response we don't need. Most of the time we are not in "fight or flight" danger.


When covid began, I said it was the modern day dark ages. Now that it appears covid is in retreat, we have the horrific events in Ukraine. I am feeling the dark ages are continuing. Instead of focusing on what I can't do or control, I am focusing on what I can do. I am grateful that I can add to healing, donate, create events to help others cope.


Energy flows where the mind goes, and that is where my mind is going.


So, if you want to cry--cry. If you want to celebrate--celebrate. If you want to do something for someone who has less, then by all means, put your energy into that. That alone is mindset shifting.





If you missed my 4PM central LIVE on Facebook last week, it's no wonder. Technical difficulties all around. I hope this post made up for it.


This week I will be LIVE at 4PM central on Facebook (for real) talking about EASE. www.facebook.com/karenastromskycoaching









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