For years the dentist was monitoring a horizontal fracture on my tooth every time x-rays were taken. I have no idea how or when that fracture happened, and I didn't think about it. Until that horizontal fracture became much bigger and created a lot of pain that stopped me in my tracks, woke me up at night and prevented me from eating normally. I went to the dentist to find out that what was once small became much bigger. I then found out that the tooth couldn't be saved. I then waited a week to have it removed. Soft foods, tylenol and advil around the clock, sleeplessness, distraction, worry. OUCH in more ways than one.
Actually having the tooth removed flooded me with relief. There was a lot of stress that had built up in the week before it happened, not only from the pain but from the imagined fear of what it would be like to have the tooth extracted. I don't wish this on anyone. The only comfort I had was knowing that my favorite teacher in my entire life, Mrs. Holman, had a tooth removed without anesthestic during WW2, in Paris, where she is from. No drugs for anyone. It was wartime! How she did it, I will never know. At least I had novicaine. (Perspective lesson from her grave.)
This reminds me of why our mindfulness skills (be here, now, in the present moment) are so important. Easy to say but hard to do. I know. This is why we have to work on these skills all the time, so that when a challenge that takes us out of the present moment (like an upcoming surgery, tooth extraction, family event) we can handle ourselves. We have tools. We have skills. We have rituals that bring us down to earth instead of floating away in fear. Think of your breathwork, meditation/prayer, daily journaling, yoga, qi gong, or gratitude focus to name a few.
Problems--they will always come up. It is the human condition that life keeps going with its twists and turns. How we handle our problems is ours. Always it is ours. We decide if we are going to get carried away. We decide if we are going to handle our situations with grace. We decide if we let fear of the unknown take us down. It truly is a mindset. It is in your mind to decide.
I will never pretend that practicing mindset work in tough times is easy. It is possible however to get more skilled and adept in the face of life's challenges, which is when we need help the most. I have no problem enjoying vacations, hotels, restaurant meals and croissants on a patio. DUH! But the unknown, the unexpected, the messy middle--that's another story for all of us. So we simply begin again.
I share this story with you to remind you that you have it in you, to take good care of yourself. You have it in you in times of struggle and times of ease and joy. You have it in you--in your breath, in your body, in your mind to decide how you want to show up for yourself. You are always your biggest fan and your biggest cheerleader.
xo Coach Karen :))
PS If you have a friend or family member who needs this reminder--please forward it along! We are all in this together!
PS2 If you need more help focusing on your mindset so that you too can live in the present moment more often, with more ease, send me a message, and we can have a coffee chat on zoom to see if working together makes sense. It's all about YOU!
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