I Usually Save It for the Airplane

There I was a week ago, in my element. Recording five special wellness videos for the YMCA. It was great.

And, today? There I was, in my car having a panic attack. Yep. That was another version of me. Same person. Same life. Different day.

In case you didn't know, May is Mental Health Awareness Month. And, in case you didn't know--I usually have a lot of anxiety about being on the airplane. I am not afraid of flying. Being on the airplane makes me feel claustrophobic. I feel like I am stuck and can't get out, and if there's a problem, no one will help me. This anxiety started showing itself when I was 16 and going to France to study as a foreign exchange student one summer.

In case you are wondering--did I get help? Yes, when my daughter, Lilia, was born, I said to myself--I can't let her see me like this. So, I consulted three different doctors about this problem which stems from a bad childhood experience when I was somehow wrapped up in a blow up swimming pool that was not blown up, rolling down the hill in front of my house. All the kids were laughing. I couldn't breathe. I wanted someone to help me. No one came. Get it?

Usually when people understand the root cause of their problem, that has the power to eliminate it. Not with me! So I do all the breathing, meditating, qi gong things to help--AND I take anti anxiety medicine to fly. I am not stopping my travels, and I am not letting myself stay "stuck."

But there I was today, on my way to teach yoga, and that uncomfortable feeling came over me. I know what precipitated it--reading a book about someone having panic attacks. And posting about Mother's Day--which is a loaded holiday for a lot of mothers and other mothers in this world.

So, I share this personal story to let everyone know that no matter what things may look like on the outside, every single one of us is walking through this world with "stuff." Extra stuff that is ours. Extra stuff that shouldn't be ours to carry. Extra stuff that we wish didn't happen. Extra stuff that we wish would just go away.

And with that, I invite you and your friends to my free, live, Zoom experience on Friday May 9 at 10AM CST about Mother's Day. The mother we had... the way we had to mother ourselves. The mother we were... and all the tangles that go with it. It will be 45 minutes. I am making this quick so that you can have a great weekend no matter how you are feeling.

Here's the link. I will send a reminder and repost frequently. I'd love to have you join.

https://us06web.zoom.us/j/4738028545?omn=81740492386

xo Coach Karen :))