The lyrics from a song in the movie "Four Weddings and a Funeral"--it all began so well--but what an end. Truth in my case. Little did I know that I was marrying the wrong person. How soon did I find out? Too soon--but not until two girls were born, and life became very complicated with the health of the second girl.
This brings me to the topic of DISAPPOINTMENT. "Big D" Disappointment like divorce was for me as well as "little d" disappointment like not finding my favorite item on the menu are both examples of that let-down feeling. The difference, of course, is that Big D Disappointment doesn't just disappear because you moved on (even to the greatest guy like Lou). There are so many tendrils to a Big D Disappointment that you might have to break it down and make peace with all its parts and live through a mess for a while. When my divorce was made official (thank you, Cook County) over ten years ago, my girls were in middle school and starting high school. There was a lot of development and adolescence to get through. Not my favorite parenting stage, I will honestly admit. Every time I struggled with family life as a single mom, I got another smack on the beeeehind about how much DISAPPOINTMENT I brought into my life.
It is so easy to feel disappointed at this time in history. There's a lot that isn't like the "before times" which is a let down in itself. A lot of it we can get over, and that makes us resilient. So the grocery isn't opened 24/7--we can handle it. Little d disappointment.
But for those Big D Disappointments you may be carrying with you, maybe it is time to give yourself a healthy dose of human kindness and compassion. It's a normal feeling to be disappointed at times, even if you are at the center of the disappointment. Dammit. It's not normal to never let go of what is weighing you down and keeping you from moving forward freely. Not ok either.
Maya Angelou once said--when you know better, you do better. That's BIG R RELIEF and RESILIENCE for all of us. Let's go with that!
PS Thank you for following these blogs--and letting me know what you are thinking. I so appreciate it.
PSS Mindset Gym/Sheee Show Group Coaching is coming in the fall. This is weekly, on zoom, for people who are feeling stuck in their thoughts and can't loop out no matter how hard they try. Yes, I offer one on one coaching too--but this service is for people who want to be with friends and/or in a group of like-minded people to normalize and grow from their life's experience. I hold the safe, nonjudgmental space in an authentic way. You come ready to shift the mindset.