I've been coaching about permission this week. The ability to say yes to yourself or not. On one hand, it sounds easy. You are an adult. You don't have to ask your parents. Just buy what you want, go where you like, order what you have a taste for, etc. On the other hand, granting yourself permission to think a certain way, to let go of shaming your body or your past, to do a certain activity that is out of your comfort zone or to let go of a dream that you've nurtured for a long time, then it becomes more complicated.
In some ways, it was easier when we were kids. For starters, our asks were not that big. Can I go to a friend's house? Can I take the car? Can I have a party? In my house, it was a quick yes or no (or ask your father). A maybe sounded good to me, because at least it wasn't a hard no. Even if we resented the fact that our parents had a hold over us when it came to boundaries and privileges, their permission often was designed to keep us safe and in their parental zone of control.
As adults our lives are more complicated, and because we are the ones giving ourselves permission, we are the ones who need to consider all the angles. While I can stay up very late at night watching Netflix, no one will stop me--I will suffer painful consequences tomorrow when I am too tired to get through the day.
Let's consider more consequential adult decisions...especially the ones where you let go of dreams or plans that you once had that are no longer the dreams or plans you presently have. I, for one, am very hard on myself (some might stay stubborn) when it comes to dreams. I'd like them to come true. I'd like to see my way clearly on a narrow path. I'd like them not to take too long either. (some might say unrealistic) FYI, Bewitched was my favorite tv show as a kid.
In these situations, it's important to be honest with yourself. You are the expert on you. Always. No one knows you better. No one knows your thoughts and feelings better. While sometimes it pays to talk it out with a trusted confidant, the fact remains that you are the only one who can grant yourself PERMISSION to let go of those very thoughts, feelings or dreams that no longer apply.
This is where my daughter, Natalie, would exclaim "Adulting is hard." She's right. There is so much more grey in our decisions. Life becomes more nuanced once we realize how complex and interconnected it is. Let's consider the other option which would be to continue down a path that you know is no longer right for you just because you started down that path. That would be far more damaging and self defeating than changing course much earlier on. That's not just stubborn; it's not helpful one bit.
This week, with the fall equinox, which says--LET GO, like the trees letting go of their leaves because they don't need them any longer, I am encouraging you to give yourself permission to let go of whatever is no longer serving you.
You can think differently.
You can dress differently.
You can appreciate your body and what it does for you instead of comparing your body to other peoples'.
You can create a new dream.
Truth: My favorite tv show when I was little was Bewitched. I loved it so much, I even named my little Welsh Terrier after the girl on the show, Tabitha.
Thank you for being part of this community. I appreciate it.
Coach Karen :))