How are you doing with yourself, your life? I mean, how are you really doing? When you take a look in the mirror, is the reflection staring back at you the one you'd like to be seeing? Or, are you thinking--this isn't what I had in mind for this stage of my life?
Don't get me wrong. I am not one of those coaches who believes in nonstop striving, striving, striving. That is tiresome, and I think it lends itself to exhausting toxic positivity. I am also not one of those coaches who believes in "someday" "maybe when I..." "later when they..." and other similar excuses for putting off what might actually help. That's not going to work either. I am a coach who believes in being honest even if it stinks.
When you were a kid, did you ever have one of those "I am really disappointed in you." conversations with your parents? Those words were so painful to hear because you knew it, and you knew it before they even said it. You let yourself down and felt really bad about it because you also knew you were capable of so much better.
As adults, we don't have those eagle eyes on our behavior. You choose whether you make your bed, eat veggies, limit screen time, exercise, save your money or charge the heck out of your credit cards. NO ONE will stop you except YOU. It's the freedom we always wanted when we didn't have it. Now, it can leave us a little unmoored.
This is why relying on your feelings makes the most sense. If you are doing well most of the time, and living in alignment with your values, spending your time where it matters and taking good care of yourself and your people, then you are in the driver's seat. You are in the thriver's seat. I honestly hope everyone gets to feel that way more often. It's what is called being in the "flow" of life.
If, however, you are feeling stuck or disappointed with yourself or your life circumstances, it's time for a change. It might not just be a mid-January thing. It might be time to refocus on what you want more of. This means you do NOT talk yourself out of breaking out of your comfort zone. You just DO it. You do NOT get in your own way with unhelpful thoughts. Whatever is lacking is your starting point. If you are lonely and want more companionship, social time, outings, then putting your energy into making dates and getting out in the community. If feeling lazy is your problem, then you need a boost of new activity. Time to be creative.
I often hear this advice from fellow coaches--do it messy. Don't wait until all circumstances are perfect to break out. Get going now. Make a fresh start now. If you wait until you are 100% ready to do something new, then it may never happen. So, I am reminding you to take an honest look at yourself and your circumstances. Are you mostly good? Are you in temporary despair? Are you in long term hell? Are you in a phase of blah? Whatever your answer is your honest answer. No excuses. Then, if you have any itchy feelings like you need more or extra or something other than, or are feeling the dreaded disappointment in yourself--take notice and take action. Don't look back. Start from now.
You and I are survivors. We got this far by surviving. We got through the pandemic. We got a second chance. We are lucky. Not everyone had the same luck. With this survivorship, we truly owe it to ourselves not to be a disappointment but to be a gift, a blessing, a thunder bolt of goodness--whatever you choose. Don't look back. Start from now.
P.S. By popular demand, I am starting a monthly membership group coaching series on Monday January 30 at 7-7:45PM.
This is for people who are coachable (ready to do the work to make a change) and are looking for group support, accountability, goal setting clarity, my style of coaching (LOL). There will be journaling, guided visualization and results. If this is something
you are ready for, send me an email so we can chat. I am here to serve.
xo Coach Karen :))