There's good news and bad news. Which do you want first? The good news? Ok! You get to be the boss, i.e. you are in charge of you. Your thoughts, feelings, actions, the energy you put forth. Yep, it's all on you. The bad news--as an adult, you are also responsible for you. Your thoughts, feelings, actions, the energy you put forth. Yep, it's all on you.
Lovely, you read that right. It's a both/and conundrum. When we were kids, we thought our parents or teachers or coaches held all the cards, had all the answers. They were the keepers of the almighty permission. And, if they didn't appear to be so good at their job, then we figured that when we got to be the adults, we'd do it better. We would get it right. We would finally be able to make our own decisions after all. So much for the certainty that comes with the underdeveloped frontal lobe--and the black and white thinking that it carries.
As the adult in the room, we are responsible. In fact, it is our job to be responsible. To show up on time. To do the work. To pay the bills. To be more than an impulsive child--to be an evolved, self aware adult who makes the hard decisions while holding complexity in the balance. The consequences are so much greater as well!
I think about how I show up a lot. Not only because I hold space in yoga and qi gong classes at least eight times a week, not only because I am a coach--but because I know that the energy that I bring to any situation affects the energy around the situation.
I feel a responsibility to me as the adult in the room first and foremost. As a result, I take good care of myself in the typical ways you might think--eating healthfully, drinking tons of water, prioritizing sleep, working out, meditating, journaling, praying, practicing gratitude... And the atypical ways of taking care of myself? I consider what thoughts I allow myself to keep thinking. I dismiss NONSENSE, unhelpful thoughts very quicky because I know how toxic they can be. When I notice I am agitated with the world, other people's driving, predictable frustrations in the checkout at the grocery store, I have to take a step back and knock that shI** off. I am agitated with myself in those moments. I have to let it go. And so I do. Again, I am aware of the energy I bring. I want it to be neutral at the very least, and hopefully very positive at the most.
Sometimes I feel that life can be as disappointing as a Minnesota springtime (if you live in Minnesota--you get it). Sometimes I am not too enthusiastic about what's coming up next. (I am having arthroscopic knee surgery in May, which requires 6 weeks of no weight bearing i.e. crutches). Sometimes I wonder if I am fulfilling my purpose, answering the call to service to others the best way I can.
Sometimes I like to stop the wonder and just be in the moment which is where the power lies. The adult in the room knows this.
Later is not a time.
Tomorrow may never come.
Yesterday is over.
Do it. Do it now. Show up.
For yourself first and foremost.
For your people. For your purpose.
Do it now.
You are the adult, my lovely friend.
You have the power.
This might be a week of reflection if you are getting ready for Passover or Easter. This might be a week to consider your role as the adult in the room, rising up to face the challenges, make the decisions, and accept the joys, letting no one or nothing deter you from your happiness. You have the power.
xo Coach Karen :)) always in your corner
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