Lots of things take practice, but one of the hardest things is shifting your mindset when things seem to be going sideways. And, this is the very thing that actually makes you feel better in the heat of the moment. Looking at the very same circumstances from a different point of view.
The truth is, we get to do this all day long. We can shift how we are thinking from moment to moment. We can say to ourselves things will never work out--or we can say things might work out better than I hoped even if I can't tell how right now.
When I was a kid, I have to admit, I struggled when things didn't go well. I had a bad temper, and I didn't know how to manage it especially when I was disappointed. I didn't learn about retraining my brain to think differently until my 40s. Sad, but true. On the up side, I can remember my daughter's pediatrician telling her that she can choose her thoughts and thereby her feelings with practice. That's the difference in one generation.
Speaking of generations, we are so much more conscious of our thoughts and feelings, for the most part, than our ancestors. Our creature comforts have been met, so then what are we left with? Our thoughts and the feelings that come with them. Therein lies the problem. We have the time to ponder and wonder and rehash. We live mostly in our heads these days, thanks to technology.
Maybe just for this week, you decide to "fact check" your thoughts to be sure that what you are thinking is actually true especially if it is something negative about yourself. (I'll never be able to ... lose weight, get that job, feel fulfilled, enjoy working out) Then, if it is factually true, you decide whether you want to dwell on that or not. Your thoughts drive your feelings which drive your actions. During the pandemic, I often thought to myself--I hate covid. Fact check: is this true? YES 100%, but it wasn't a helpful thought for me to have because I had no control over it, and focusing on what I don't like magnifies it, and that is not helpful at all. Therein lies the shift.
No one is immune to a false step or a poor decision, but that's not the problem, and that's not the end game. How you choose to handle it, is. That's where your power lies. That's where your choice lies.
Now, at age 57, when I am in a bad mood for some reason, I talk about it a little. I get Lou's perspective. He's good at this. If I am really angry, I like to work out to get over it. Then I decide what I am going to think about it, and what I am going to do about it. It's not magic. It doesn't mean I don't get sad and sorry when things don't work out, but it does mean I don't stay there. And neither will you when you start noticing your unhelpful thoughts and choose to respond with a shift.
Practice is what it's all about. There is no perfect in this human condition, but we can certainly improve.
Happy MAY DAY--May 1!
xo Coach Karen :))
If you want to join me for live chair yoga beginning Monday May 8 at 7-7:30PM on zoom, send me a message this week. This is a six week series, perfect for beginners or more advanced students, who want to learn yoga from the comforts of a chair and get some valuable coaching at the same time. $150, May 8- June 19.
Side effects of practicing yoga with me:
Increased flexibility and strength.
Improved posture and alignment.
Positive feelings about yourself, your life, your family and your physical fitness.
A new found desire to show up for yourself, just as you are, more often.
A renewed sense of purpose that you are connecting to yourself first and whatever matters to you second.
A like-minded community of fellow yogis.
One of my yoga and qi gong students recently wrote--
"Karen is our amazing teacher. She tells us "You are enough. You are always enough." She is an amazing coach and helps us become more positive about our physical and mindful well-being. I love my class."
I hope to hear from you! :))